Chapter 17 – Aries, Get!

Chapter 17 Aries, Get!

Chapter link: http://ncode.syosetu.com/n2211cx/18/ (2015/10/16)

Translation: twomorefreethoughts / TpstT (2018/11/18)

Editor: Keii (2020/01/27)

Translation link: https://twomorefreethoughts.wordpress.com/awlba-c017/

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-Chapters 17-19 purged on 2020 April 26 due to the series getting licenced.-

-Alternative translation of this chapter: HERE

-Table of content for other chapters: HERE

 

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[1] 7 Luminaries: “7曜”. Which literally means 7 days (of the week) e.g. Monday, Tuesday, etc, and each day of the week has a corresponding planet (well, except for the moon).

[2] The word for “My” here is “余” so it’s slightly different from the normal “my”. I can’t think of an English equivalent for this word, but if you imagine how a member of the royalty would talk and the way they would address themselves, it’d be something similar to that.

[3] Both this part and the title is a reference to Pokemon.

[4] NPC (Non Playable Character) is pretty much a gaming term for characters in the game who are controlled by the AI or the game itself, or in other words, not controlled by another player in real life.

[5] Imagine a robot speaking just the keywords, or inputting only the keywords into a search engine.

[6] Like the roar scene from the Lion King.

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17 thoughts on “Chapter 17 – Aries, Get!

  1. So, in regards to this part:

    As I say that, I slightly moved my finger. When I did, countless swords which were lying on the floor after I previously scattered the monsters all disappeared at once. Disassembly that really doesn’t help, I guess. (TL: I’m not sure about this line, it doesn’t seem to make sense in the context. If anyone knows what it means please lmk “練成ならぬ分解、てとこかな。”)

    I think that basically what he’s trying to say is, “I removed all the swords to make things less messy. But considering how messy the battlefield still was it didn’t really help.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. -TLDL: at the bottom-
      Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll add a brief explanation and a question at the start of the chapter to see what people prefer.
      I actually considered using we, but I thought it wasn’t quite at that level yet (sorry, even though I analogised to the emperor’s speech), There’s so many “I” in Japanese, it can be quite confusing to match up everything.

      Commonly used ones;
      Watashi / Watakushi = Common, more soft-spoken, more feminine but can be used gender-neutrally, go-to-word for women, used in business/formal aspect by both gender etc
      Atashi = Slightly altered version of Watashi, I’ve only ever heard this used by adolescent girls in school.
      Boku = Common, more soft-spoken, polite version of “I” that the male gender use. Go-to-word for younger boys, as well as an adult male is trying not to step out of line (though, often Watashi in a gender-neutral form is used instead)
      Ore = Common, masculine version of “I”. A bit more haughty than 3 so far. Go-to-word for most older male (honestly probably starting like primary school when “cooler boys” start wanting to look cool) It’s probably the most common “I” for male imo (don’t quote me on that). This is the version MC use to refer to himself when thinking.
      Washi / Wa: You often see this used by older generations, maybe like 3 or 4 generations back, especially by older (great-)grandfathers. Often used in theatrical plays or young children trying to show they’re acting like their old (great-)grandparents.

      -few others in between-

      Relating to the current context:
      Warawa (Ware) : a haughty version of female “I”, a user places themselves at the very top and sees others to be below them. (Boa Hancock, the Sea Empress from One Piece uses this version) -edit- apparently it was also used in a humbling way by the wives of a samurai.
      Yo: The “I” that’s used by MC when he’s speaking as Ruphas. The male counterpart of Warawa. Moreso than a King, it’s a form that is used to show their high position. The aristocratic system is a Western system but if there were Kings, Dukes, Earls, Counts, Marquis or those fictional haughty evil fat conglomerate merchants (*v*), I imagine Japanese translation would most likely use this one.

      This was the main reason I had mentioned I couldn’t find an English equivalent, but instead to imagine a way the Kings and Emperors speak.

      -TLDR-
      It’s something that could be used by the Emperors and the Kings but it’s also something that could be used by other individuals who put themselves above others.
      I don’t mean to justify my own translation but that’s exactly what it’s going to sound like when I say… In the context, I thought MC wasn’t using it to signify a position of an emperor but moreso in a way to portray the character to be greater than others in the surrounding. So I was little reluctant on using “We” or “Our”.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Woah! Thanks for the in dept explaination.

      I expected that it might be so, them not being quite equivalent, but thought it couldn’t hurt to direct you towards ‘royal we’ in case reading up on it would help your decision.

      Like

  2. Two comments:

    1) Way too many translation notes. Please reserve them for when you need to explain something the audience might not understand, not for justifying your translation choices or for commentary. Also, if you need to write a translation note to explain something, take another look at what you’re explaining to see if you could write or translate it in a different way such that it doesn’t require a note. For example, the translation note that says “Imagine a robot speaking” just tells me that you need to rewrite the sentence such that the concept of a robot speaking is conveyed. And if it isn’t conveyed perfectly, in this case it didn’t really need a translation note in the first place because you’re not explaining some meaning.

    2) It’s better to keep names and terms consistent with the existing translation, especially when you’re picking it up several chapters in. This doesn’t just apply to the “Planetary” thing (which has pluralization issues) but serves as general advice. In that specific case, pick one of the two existing terms, don’t introduce a third.

    Like

    1. 1) I’ll keep that in mind. I try my best to give the best meaning in the context but because neither English nor Japanese is my first language I sometime can’t come up with a better way to write things (I’m sorry about that).
      As for the robot context, you’re right I could probably have written it differently but I ended up sticking with a literal translation of what Aries said. It gives off a more robotic tone, whilst still being animatic in Japanese but unfortunately, I couldn’t convey that when I translated it.

      2) I’ll also keep this in mind. While I was translating, I cross-checked all the names, terms and categories from Shurim’s translation and the manga. I tried to stick with the version that already existed for the names and 12 Heavenly Stars. Unless there are others that I missed, I think the only change was the Planetary. I don’t want to give spoilers since there’s a lot of people that haven’t read raw so I won’t explain why I used that but since there is a vote towards Luminaries I will be changing it to that in a while.

      Like

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